Dear Self

I realise that it's been some time since you and I last had a serious conversation. For a good part of the last 12 months or so all you and I seem to have been doing is lock ourselves up in my room, cry and drown ourselves in the pool of self pity and misery only to turn around and do what we do best - smile at the world and just pretend all is well. Not that it's been that bad. You see indeed in every bad there is some good because you and I learned that it is ok to hit rock bottom and just not be strong. That even the strongest like us do feel vulnerable, weak and just downright defeated- and that this is all part of life.

Whilst our situation hasn't improved that significantly (well atleast we have moved on from that heartbreak - such a shame) I'm posting this note to let you know that this morning was the last time you and I were crying over whatever loss and pain we experienced over the last 12 months! No more! I don't know about you but I miss us: the vibrant, optimistic, lively duo who never ever allowed life's disappointments to get in our way. I miss the "us" that had childlike faith in the universe and never ever doubted its Creator's love for us. Hell I even miss the "us" that had such blind faith in love! Self I miss you. I miss how engaged you were with current affairs issues (and a LOT has been happening in that front). How alert you were about global issues nje in general. Since you lost interest in everything and by everything I mean just that, life has been nothing but a misery. Nothing seems to cheer me up like ever! and if this does happen - which is seldom - it just never lasts that long.

Self please come back to me. I need you. We've learned the lessons that needed to be learned it's time to move on! I'm not sure how long you will take to get back together with me but I do hope it happens sooner. Until then I will just have to be strong for the both of us I guess. I am going to live each and every day full of hope, love, praise and gratitude for even the smallest mercies. Kind of like how we used to do.

kaMwelase.